Birth date: Nov 17, 1936 Death date: Sep 9, 2025
Norman Eugene Smith, born November 17, 1936, in Iowa, to Larro and Ferne Smith, passed away peacefully on Tuesday, September 9, 2025, surrounded by his loved ones. He is preceded in death by his mother and father, his brother Andr Read Obituary
As I look back on my relationship with my dad, I think of it as having come full circle.
When my sister and I were little, we had an equal amount of connection with our parents, but as we grew into teens and young adults, our mother’s influence grew more pronounced. This was by their design. During those years our father was strict, we knew what was expected of us, and that he would hold us accountable.
With my dad you learned to listen, follow directions, and to pay attention. He was a bit of a task master, and it was a good idea to get things done right the first time.
For me home was a sanctuary, and our parents created a space for us to have fun and invite our friends.
One of my earliest connections with my dad developed through the keeping of animals, mostly because he advocated me having as many as I wanted and would build out spaces for me to house them. He indulged my love of animals, and I enjoyed having that in common with him. (How many dads would let their kid have 50 hamsters and 8 rabbits?)
It wasn't until I had my own family that my dad and I developed an adult relationship when we learned what each of us needed from the other. It was a pivotal time for us, and he instigated the conversation. I discovered that to him actively giving RESPECT=LOVE and as the youngest in the family I needed to allow him to remain in the role of the father that gives council, not the daughter who gives council. I gave him that from that day forward in exchange for being treated as an adult daughter instead of the baby.
While my mother and later my sister were the ones I worked on most of life's dilemmas with, there were situations where he was uniquely more suited at helping me. If I approached him, he would give me his undivided attention and give me solid advice. The only catch was, if you asked for his opinion you had to take the advice given.
In my heart and in my deepest beliefs my dad could do anything and as his daughter I always felt protected in every way. I had 100% confidence in him. I was fortunate to have gone through my life with that sense of security.
On December 8th, 2004, our family of four, became a family of three. My mother who handled everything managerial up to that point probably had a pretty good idea that challenges lay ahead. She was always prepared and knew that my father would be ok with my sisters help.
My sister partnered with my dad to get him through some very difficult tasks and consistently has done this since then.
In many ways this was the beginning of a whole new relationship with my father. He suddenly became the sole and main parent to young adults and their families.
While it was difficult to say the least, it was an opportunity. I used to remember thinking that it would be a personal tragedy if my dad died a mystery to me. He was present but not known. Growing up I could see that my dad had lots of thoughts, but they were his and he rarely shared them. I remember asking my grandma Ferne what my dad was like when he was growing up and she said that he came back different after having come back from the service. When we were kids, we were always told that he didn’t serve in a war.
For most of my adult life I didn't know what burdened his mind, and I know I spent more time talking than listening. It was finally in those moments when I sat quietly and just waited that a shift happened. It was then that he started to talk. If I made the mistake of asking follow up questions, the conversation ended. I learned to sit with my dad and slowly he started to tell stories of his life. I learned that he went all over the world. That he had been injured at least four times that I know of, that he protected the citizens of our country without any of us knowing. He told me about the hard lessons he learned from his father. He acknowledged how he benefited from having had his father throughout his teen years before his father died. I could see the sadness when he talked about the early loss of his brother and later his sisters. His heart was heavy from having been the oldest and being the last one to survive. He always said that he had outlived the woman whom he had loved in this life, and he didn't know why he was still here. Most of all he just really missed my mom. I know that he was losing his lifelong friends too. My dad thought about the past a lot. When people say that your life flashes in front of you when you die, I can tell you that for my dad he relived his life daily in his mind. Thinking. He did it for years.
The most prominent aspect of my father's recent life was his health challenges the last three years. We knew my father was living on borrowed time. His decision to keep going was very deliberate. First and foremost, probably the ones who knew my father best walk on four legs. So much of his heart belonged to his dogs. Blondie his last dog kept him company and kept him going.
My dad's friends and neighbors who stopped by throughout the week were true life givers. First his doctor and later his friend Dr. Bouch who advocated for him and my sister who was determined to keep him alive. He also had Bessa whom he adored. She kept him energetic and healthy. When he decided to do something, it was mind over matter. He met every challenge. I learned what true grit looks like. I see what survival looks like when it's driven by determination. This was his last gift to me. His resiliency gives me courage to manage my life because I no doubt will need it without him.
I met Norm in April 2010 when he visited me in my office. I had to opportunity to learn about his colorful history and his wonderful family. It was not long before we bonded over our love of dogs and the outdoor sports. Norm graciously invited me on and annual SCI Chukar hunt and encouraged me to bring my boys. Soon, we began hunting pheasant together regularly. He was a wonderful mentor to my children and me. My favorite memories were definitely of the time we spent together in the field with his beloved dogs Nina and Blondie. I will always cherish these memories.
-Charles Bouch, MD
My Dad - I was very lucky to have such a wonderful father. I miss him so much. He is always close to my thoughts.
My fondest memory of Norman is going to the Alameda county Fair with the family sherise krystal Garee me Norman we went every year as kids and I guess we stopped going as long as me and krystal were old enough to go by ourselves
