Julie Muoi Tao's Obituary
Julie Muoi Tao was the epitome of a mother’s love for her children. Devoted, dedicated, strong. As a single mother, she loved with such force and sacrificed so much for her children’s future. Living the life she lived, Julie believed very strongly in her daughters’ own ability to build a better future. She repeatedly recited to them her go-to proverbs: “书中自有黄金屋” (A book holds a house of gold. ), “玉不琢，不成器.” (A jade that is never cut will never be of use.), “只要功夫深，铁杵磨成针” (As long as you work hard, even an iron pestle can be ground down into a needle.). In other words, education, hard work, and dedication were the keys to success. She drilled these beliefs in her children.
And she succeeded. She leaves behind four daughters: Karyn, a successful business owner serving her community over two decades; Victoria, a lead cardiac sonographer at California’s largest healthcare provider; Brenda, a high-ranking debt-financing paralegal at a prestigious law firm; and Diane, a senior attorney at a global investment firm. Each daughter achieved at least a four-year college degree; each has her own successful career in either the financial, medical, or legal industries; each with her own home and family; and each with an independent drive and a passion to do things the right way.
But Julie should not be defined by her role as a mother, however significant. Rather, Julie should be remembered as a profoundly strong, caring, and incredible human being. Despite so many hardships, Julie held strong morals, high standards, and continuous compassion for others. Having persisted through many ups and downs, Julie lived a remarkable life and ultimately left a lasting legacy.
Born in Saigon, Vietnam, Julie had only primary school education yet became a jack-of-all-trades in support of her family. In Saigon, she was a butcher, a seamstress, a baker, a dentist. After the Vietnam War ravaged her homeland, Julie sought a better life and took her three daughters at the time and joined others on a yearlong, multi-country journey as refugees to the United States. Julie was not a gambler, but she took the risk and moved from refugee camp to refugee camp to chase the possibility of a better future.
In the United States, despite knowing no English and having limited education, Julie found ways to make things work. She became a manicurist – ultimately co-owning a nail salon in Oakland, California – her pride and joy. When that chapter ended, Julie took her I-can-do-anything mindset and found various hourly jobs and opportunities to make end’s meet from working on an assembly line at wee hours in the morning to taking night classes that ultimately prepped her to become an early childhood development caregiver. Regardless of the role, Julie took her work seriously and gave each job her all – proudly being the first worker at each job site before doors opened and bringing home stories like how to properly assemble and pack a cardboard box on a conveyor belt.
Despite always working, Julie never forgot about family. Though divorced, Julie continued her dedication to her husband’s side of the family – after all, family is family. She regularly visited her elders and made it such an important ritual. She would bring them the best fruits she could find from the market and day-to-day items that she could afford to make them more comfortable. Each visit was filled with conversation and care. Indeed, the way she patiently peeled grapes for them with such great attention exuded a kind of familial love that can’t be expressed in words. And even though she worked long hours, Julie made sure that every Sunday was family day on which she brought her four girls to Chinatown to go grocery shopping and have Sunday dinners together. Her love was through food.
Julie was incredible, but she was also human. She was very pious, regularly praying and cleaning the many Buddhist altars at home. She would wake up before sunrise to cook the day’s meals for the family before starting her various jobs, come back home to clean up the place, and then spend late hours watching TVB soap dramas to decompress after a hard day’s work. She enjoyed cooking as much as she enjoyed eating. Cá kho (caramelized braised catfish) was a favorite, served with fragrant Jasmine rice and balanced out by aromatic canh chua (sweet and sour tamarind fish soup). When she had time, bánh xèo (crispy Vietnamese crêpes) was in order - the crispy thin turmeric batter splattering as it cooked in the pan with mung beans, bean sprouts, and shrimp. She loved her food piping hot. She loved her morning coffee even more. And she always enjoyed a good work story – foreign to corporate jobs, she found her children's work stories as dramatic as a TVB drama.
Julie also had a lot of character. She was witty and sarcastic. There was a certain bluntness in her words that just hit at the right time to make people laugh. She sought companionship from those around her, chatting up grocery store clerks and butchers and handing them red envelopes on Lunar New Years. She believed in paying it forward, doing good and helping those who didn't have the same opportunities. She held compassion for others even when she herself was in a worse situation, empathizing with ICU neighbors on multiple occasions. And she was ridiculously strong - mentally, of course, but physically, she was so powerful. Her grit and determination in getting to a better place stayed with her until her last moments.
Yes, Julie was the best mother Karyn, Victoria, Brenda, and Diane could ever ask for. But Julie was more than just a mother. She was Julie Muoi Tao. A strong, caring, and incredible human being. A changemaker.
Julie is survived by her four daughters and 5 grandchildren (Kaitlyn Tan, Haylie Tan, Jasmine Quan, Sophie Quan, Evan Tao Flood) with another grandchild due this month. We love you, Mom.
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