Love and Loss: Living Through the Anniversaries

The loss of a loved one is painful, but there are certain days that are worse than others. For most people, birthdays and holidays are hard. For those who are grieving, anniversaries of the loss can be especially painful.  

If you’re struggling to cope with grief, try to have a plan for how you’ll deal with feelings that arise on these special days.  

  • Do something good for yourself. Treat yourself to a spa day or massage, or go to a movie or out to lunch. Spend time with a good friend or alone, whichever feels better for you. You can even decide to spend the day disconnected from the world, with your phone turned off as you read, take a walk or soak in a bath. The point is to do something just for you. 
  • Do something good for someone else in honor of your loved one. Is there a person your loved one cherished who might be feeling the pain of loss in a similar way? Reach out and invite that person to do something you’ll both enjoy. Making someone feel special is a wonderful way to honor the memory of someone you loved.  
  • Cook a meal you used to enjoy together. If eating together was a big part of how you spent your time, it can be comforting to have a special meal that reminds you of your loved one.   
  • Do something in your loved one’s memory such as planting a memory garden or volunteering at a charity. Especially if the person you’re grieving was someone who volunteered, this can be extremely rewarding.  
  • Remember the good times. Go through old photos, listen to your loved one’s favorite music, watch home movies or just go somewhere you used to go together and reflect on happy times.  
  • Light a candle in honor of your loved one. Whether at a church, a memorial service or simply in the privacy of your own home, there’s something about watching the light of a candle displace the darkness that’s comforting.  

Chapel of the Chimes Hayward has been serving families in the East Bay area since 1872, helping them cope with loss and grief and providing a beautiful final resting place to visit for reflection and remembrance. Call us at (510) 400-4442 for information about all we have to offer.

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